seedy
  • how my mother works
  • me: mom i got all A's
  • mom:
  • me: mom i cleaned the whole house
  • mom:
  • me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
  • mom:
  • mom: is this your cup on the table?
  • me: yes
  • mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
lindsaylohoean

idontcareforgob:

officialgarrusvakarian:

we-are-star-stuff:

zerostatereflex:

An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.

Octopuses are going to kill us all someday

I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.

Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank

Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.

An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it

Fuckin’ octopuses, man.